jeffchix

Jeff’s Chicken Soup

As the weather cools late in the year, you'll want to try this. (Didn't we warn you that ours is an eclectic site? We can't get much more eclectic than chicken soup….)

This recipe calls for the creation of a magapot of soup, so invite a lot of friends or prepare for a personal feast if you decide to make it.

Ingredients:

17 regular size cans of chicken stock (low-salt or low-fat if you like)

3-5 lbs. Boneless Chicken Breast

1 Clove FRESH Garlic, minced

2 LARGE Onions

6 Large Carrots

8 oz. Baby Lima Beans

1 Stalk Celery (or several sticks)

Assortment of spices to your liking

1 Humongous pot

Ladle

4 boxes Goodman’s Soup Nuts (Mandlen)

1 Box Goodman’s Matzo Ball Mix

1 Lg. Box Minute Rice (or Goodman’s soup noodles, or whatever else you fancy)

fresh sliced mushrooms

fireplace logs

fireplace

marshmallows

a fork to cook the marshmallows in the fireplace

a bottle of your favorite wine

Microwave popcorn

Jell-O (any flavor)

Microwave oven

Do these in order or your house will burn down.

The night before, put the lima beans in a pot and cover with water. Don’t use the stove. Go to bed.

Next day, open the wine and pour a bunch in a nice, chilled glass. Open the Flue. Put the logs in the fireplace. Start the fire. (Ignore the logs and the fire if you don’t have a fireplace...please.) Have a drink.

Put the pot on the stove and open 14 of the soup cans. If fat globules are on top, skim them off. Dump the soup in the pot and turn on the stove. (Throw out the fat, unless your great grandmother knows how to make soap.)

Trim the garbage (ligaments, skin, the stuff that you wouldn’t eat) off the boneless breasts, cut what’s left into bite-size pieces, and toss them in the soup. (Wash hands well -- federal law nowadays -- fool Congressmen.) Have another drink. Chill another wine bottle just in case. (When soup starts simmering, cover the pot and turn it down. Make sure it continues to simmer. Add more cans if you need them.)

Skin carrots and grate them. Throw grated carrots in pot. Finely chop celery and add it. Do same with onions and garlic. Yes, garlic. It adds flavor and doesn’t smell and counteracts the fat you missed when you skimmed the tops of the cans... Spice to taste.

Put popcorn in microwave and cook for 3 minutes 45 seconds on HIGH.

Follow directions to make matzo balls. The less oil you use, the firmer your cooked matzo balls will be. Hint: Greek extra virgin olive oil is best. Don’t forget to put the balls in the soup. (Pay attention.)

Drain lima beans and dump them in the pot. Remove popcorn from microwave and sprinkle with a little uncooked Jell-O powder . Have a drink and some popcorn. Check the fire. Cook rice separately. Smells pretty good, yes? DON’T EAT IT YET! Spice it again. It needs it. Let simmer for at least two hours or until you can’t stand it.

Oh, the mushrooms! Wrap them in a plastic wrap and save them to sprinkle on the pizza you send out for while you're waiting hours for the soup to be done.

Use Soup Nuts (Mandlen) on top of soup when you serve it.

Don’t forget to close the flue after the fire dies down, wash the Jell-O off your fingers, and implore your neighbors for help when you’ve run out of places to store the soup....(It freezes.)

Updated May 29, 2001